Self Defense
She was being tried for murder
"It was self defense", she claimed,
"Circumstances happened
And I really can't be blamed".
The jury listened closely:
'Bout her many years of strain:
How the victim he was smothered
Before she went insane.
She told of how she suffered,
How the man she once adored
Sent her off her head because
At night he always snored.
"He rattled on his side
And he thundered on his back -
At last my weary brain announced:
Save yourself - attack!
"He'd set the bed a-shaking,
So I'd roll him on his side ...
Then a blissful silence
And towards my sleep I'd slide;
On the brink I'd hover,
Then he'd give a sudden snort -
My eyes would snap wide open
And my sleep would come to nought.
"He'd turn onto his back,
Spread himself across the bed
And serenade the darkness at full volume ...
Till I fled.
For years I kept my mouth shut,
In privacy I'd weep;
I didn't bear him grudges ...
I only yearned for sleep.
"I only wanted silence,
I only wanted rest,
So I just picked up my pillow
And gave his face a nest.
He never really struggled -
And his noises did subside,
He gave a sort of snuffle ...
And then he went and died!"
The jury came back quickly;
It didn't take them long:
One man, eleven women knew
That though she had done wrong
Lack of sleep had pushed her
To the point of homicide;
It was sad she was a widow ...
But her deed was justified.
