'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Except for my son Billy's pet mouse named Chris.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.
Anyway, my wife in her kerchief and I in my cap,
Were asleep after a long day of Christmassy crap.
When then, from the chimney, there arose quite a clamour,
"There's someone in the house" my frightened wife stammered.
I reached for the bedside, grabbed my handgun and said,
"This trespasser's getting an ass full of lead"
