Umbrella's "Recipe for Disaster" Cooking thread.

Share recipes that you enjoy! :3

CHEESEBURGER PIE:

- 2 frozen pie crusts
- 1/2 onion, diced
- 1 pound hamburger
- 2 cans cream of mushroom soup
- 1/2 package shredded hashbrowns
- 16 oz marble jack cheese
- 2 cans sliced mushrooms, drained
- garlic salt, or salt and garlic powder separately

Suate onions until soft, add hamburger and brown. Drain off fat.

Add mushrooms, cream of mushroom soup, and hash browns. Mix thoroughly.

Divide mixture into pie crusts. Cover with cheeses and sprinkle with garlic salt.

Place on cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, until cheese is melted and pie is bubbling. Let sit for 10 minutes, cut and serve.

Can be made ahead and frozen

Get wheat bread

Get nutella

Toast bread for two minutes and thirty two seconds

Spread nutella over bread

Engorge

Philly Steak & Cheese Dippers

Philly Steak Dippers
---------------------------------
2tbs of butter or margarine
1pkg of Pilsbury Cresant Rolls
1/2 cup of Onions, Green Bell Peppers
1/2 tbsp of salt and pepper
1/2 Cup of Strip Seak (Roast Beef works, too)


In a skillet melt 1 tablespoons of butter or margarine. Cut onions and green peppers into
strips and begin to saute in the pan until tender. Remove the onion and bell pepper and add in
the rest of the butter and begin to cook the strip steak. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes or until
the meat is browned.

Preheat the oven accord to the cresant roll directions, then unroll the cresant roll dough
on a flat surface (if on a plate or on a table, use a thin coating of all purpose flour so
that the dough doesn't stick) Add the strip steak, onions and green peppers to the dough
and carefully roll the dough back up. Place the philly steak dipper onto a lightly lubricated
baking sheet and cook accordingly.


Cheese Sauce
-----------------
1 1/2 cup of Milk
1 lb Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, shredded
6 ounces Gruyere Cheese, shredded
2-3 Tbs flour (to thicken)
1 tsp ground mustard
2 tsp garlic powder (more to taste – I like more)
1/2 tsp of Salt
1-2 tsp Fresh ground Black or White pepper
2 Tbs brandy (optional)

Directions

Melt butter; remove from heat. Stir in flour and seasonings. Gradually add milk, stirring
until well mixed. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until thickened and smooth.
Cook for 5 minutes longer; add cheese. Stir until smooth and well blended.

Strangely enough, that philly steak thing is making me crave a Subway Big Philly sandwhich now.

serious recipes eh? my top crowd-pleasing recipes are either Indian or Italian, seeing as Indian is definitely my favourite eating i'l give you one of my curry recipes. Actually 2, i'l chuck in an easy side dish too.

Bombay Aloo/Aloo Jeera

you need:
Potatoes
Onion
Garlic
Chilli (pref birds eye but jalapenos or w/e you have will do) or chilli powder.
Turmeric
Cumin

Directions:
peel potatoes, cube, boil in water containing 1 teaspoon of turmeric until they soften (and go nuclear yellow in colour)

chop onions, then fry them until they start to brown (not burnt, but not far off)
add chopped chilli, 2 large cloves of crushed garlic, 1/2 teaspoon turmeric, 2 teaspoons ground cumin. add extra oil/water to stop it sticking and gently fry for a few minutes.

drain potatoes, add to frying pan of onions and spices, mix well, enjoy.

garnish with fresh coriander.

to upgrade to Sag Aloo, simply add some chopped spinach to the frying pan before you add the potatoes.

to upgrade to Chicken Jeera, ignore the potato part, add cubed chicken to the fried spices, fry until sealed, add 2 teaspoons of cumin seeds, cover and simmer for 20 minutes.

Chicken Vindaloo:

you will need:
chicken breast (can use drumsticks if doing in oven, but i dont)
potatoes
onions
vinegar
tamarind paste/dried tamarind
chillies (birds eye/scotch bonnets preferably. as many as you want)
coriander, ground
cumin, ground
turmeric, ground
mustard seeds
garam masala- if not a particularly cinnamon-y one, then 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon at same time as this goes in.

potato part: cube and boil potatoes in turmeric water until cooked. drain and leave to one side.

curry part: chop onions, fry in oil until brown, add 1 teaspoon coriander, stir, fry for a minute. add 1 teaspoon garam masala, 2 tsp cumin, chopped chillies, 1 teaspoon turmeric.

fry for 2-3 minutes. add extra oil/water if it gets too sticky.

add cubed chicken breast, fry in the spice mix in the pan until the meat is sealed. add 3-4 tablespoons of vinegar, 1 teaspoon of tamarind paste (if using dried, a lump about an inch square by half an inch thick soaked in hot water for 5 minutes, stirred well, then add the tamarind water) and add a generous sprinkle of mustard seeds. cover and simmer for 20 minutes. add extra water if it gets too sticky.

add the potatoes to the meat, stir it up, and serve with rice and a naan bread.

if you are going for a real bad-boy hot one, add more tamarind, as the hotter it gets, the more sour you should make it.

if doing in oven with drumsticks, follow above directions but do not add chicken. make a fairly liquid masala (thats the fried spice mix in the pan), add the vinegar tamarind and mustard seeds and pour over the drumsticks in a casserole dish, bake for 45 mins at 180 C, then add the potatoes, stir and serve.

**************************

the spice quantities listed above are assuming you are using enough other ingredients for 2 people, so if making for 4, double spice quantities. chillies, add to taste, but the Vindaloo should at least make your mouth tingle. not-hot vindaloo is just odd. make a madras instead if you want something non-incendiary.

you can also use prawns or lamb. for prawns, dont cook them too long. for lamb, cook it longer if you want it tender.

if anyone wants any other Indian recipes, let me know. i'v got Rogan Josh, Chicken Balti (well, more like chicken with brown spices as i think of it, but, balti is as good a name as any) and Madras i could list easily off the top of my head. i'v also devoted some time perfecting my own Onion Bhaji recipe.

oh, sod it, lets have a quick n easy Italian recipe. i will look up what it is called when i can be bothered.

Prawns
6 Sun dried tomatoes, the type you can get in a jar suspended in oil are more convenient than actual dried ones.
Sun dried tomato paste
Fresh rocket
White wine
2 cloves Garlic
1 birds eye chilli without seeds/1/2 tsp chilli powder
Pasta

put pasta on to cook. preferably tagliatelle, but any will do.

fry crushed 2 garlic cloves and 1/2 tsp chilli powder in hot oil for 1 minute. add prawns and toss them in the oil/chilli/garlic.

add finely chopped sun dried tomatoes, a teaspoon of sun dried tomato paste, a glug of white wine (say 1/4 of a mug, a little more maybe), and 3/4s of your chopped rocket.

fry for a couple of minutes. drain pasta, mix with prawns+sauce, sprinkle with remaining rocket, serve.

this is damn tasty and takes about 15 minutes to prepare and cook. if that.

BACON CHEESE TURTLEBURGERS



Ingredients:
Ground BEEF: afuckton (You need two beef patties, so make sure you have enough. And the patties need to be thick!)
BACON: afuckton (Enough to weave & wrap around two large beef patties.)
Cheddar/American Cheese Slice: 3 (one each for top, middle, bottom. More if desired.)
Hot Dogs: 3 whole Hot Dogs cut into halves/6 halves.

Instructions:

-BACON WEAVING FOR NEWFAGS-

Cut off the fat-sides so that your bacon is straight, and follow the picture instructions.






-------------

-BEEF PATTIES-

Uncooked Thick Ground Beef Patties. You need two of these sons of bitches. Follow some Beef Patty recipe, I don't care where you get it. They're prominent on the internet.

------------

You've got your Bacon Weave, right? Put one Beef Patty on the center of one side of the bacon-weavery. Put cheese under that beef patty, nigga.

Put cheese on TOP of that beef patty, nigga.

Now, put another beef patty on top of the cheese which is on top of the other beef patty which is on top of the cheese... Nigga.

Now put more cheese on top.

Fold up your bacon weave over the beef-patty monstrosity you've just created.

Cut holes in Bacon-weave with a knife or some other pointy thing. The holes should be:

One in front
One in back
Two on one side, sticking out at a slight angle
Two on the other side, sticking out a slight angle

Now, shove your chosen Hot Dog type in there. Bang it in there. Bang it in like a screen door in a hurricane.


Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil. bake at 400 degrees until it looks done, or for about half an hour.

Ya, Wesk. You win. I want to make some bacon burger turtles right now.

I'm gonna make 'em when my sister comes home. She's given up being Vegan (After a whole week!) and now she wants a lot of meat.

I AM IN AWE AND TREMENDOUS RESPECT

-H-

Wesker, are those pictures yours? if so i am in awe of your meat-handling prowess. and on the subject of creative ways of preparing bacon, i present to you, the Meatini:

http://www.rathergood.com/meatini

also:

-insert joke about Weskers sister and meat here-

that is all.

Not trying to be a thread necromancer or anything like that, but I just learned how to make hot and sour soup from scratch and am very pleased with the results.

All of the following ingredients should only cost you about $20, and once you buy 3 of the ingredients you won't have to replace them for a veeeery long time.



Easy yet surprisingly good Hot and Sour soup (on a budget):

Ingredients needed: (serves 1 person heartily)

- Chicken broth/stock - 1 can (Vegetable broth works fine too for any vegetarians)

- Soy Sauce - 1 tablespoon

- Dried Shitaki mushrooms (I have heard you can replace with normal mushrooms, but shitaki shouldn't be TOO expensive or hard to find) (3 or 4)

- White Vinegar ( 1 tablespoon, more if you want a more sour soup)

- Garlic Chili Sauce (1/2 tablespoon if you want it mild. I personally add a full tablespoon for hot soup)

- Block of Tofu (You use...part of it. Not sure how else to measure that.)

- Can of bamboo shoots (use maybe 1/5th or 1/4th of the can)

- Green onion stalks (2 or 3)

- White Pepper (can easily substitute for Black)

- Corn Starch


* An optional addition is a beaten egg. I personally omit this but some people love it. Thinly sliced carrots make a nice addition as well to add some some crunchyness. Some canned water chestnuts make a similarly nice addition.




Firstly you need to soak your dried shitakis in a bowl for about 20 minutes to rehydrate them. Once this step is done bring the can of chicken broth to a simmer in a saucepan. Dice your shitakis while the broth heats.

Once the broth is ready add your shitaki mushrooms, garlic chili, and soy sauce. Let it simmer for a good 5 minutes. While it simmers cut up some of your tofu and thinly slice your bamboo shoots. After the 5 minutes add the tofu, shoots, vinegar, and pepper.

Let it simmer for another 5 minutes, and then take 2 tablespoons of cornstarch and some cold water and mix them in a seperate bowl. Add to the soup for thickening. Stir lightly and then let simmer some more.

Now you can add your green onions and egg if you so desire and the soup is ready to serve.

Chipotle Seasoned Mayonnaise

To make chipotle mayo, you will need:
1 cup mayonnaise

2 canned chipotle chili peppers

1 clove of garlic

Chop your ingredients. Place your garlic and peppers on a cutting board. Use a sharp knife to finely chop the chipotle chili peppers. You will then want to finely chop the garlic as well. If you want a more chunky mayo, do not chop them so finely. It's really about preference. Some people may not enjoy biting into big chunks of peppers or garlic.
Mix the mayo. Use a small bowl and place a cup of mayonnaise in it. Mix your chopped chipotle peppers in with the mayonnaise. Next add in the chopped garlic. Mix everything well so that the flavors blend. This will lead to a robust and flavorful chipotle mayo.

Chunky Fiesta Salsa Dip

1x Tomato Sliced & Diced
2x Scallions, diced
1 Tbsp of Garlic Wine Vinegar
1 Tbsp of Lemon Juice
1 Tbsp of Lime Juice
1 Tsp of Lemon pepper
1 Tsp of Red pepper
1 Tsp of Paprika
2-3 Tbsp of Jalapeno Sour Cream Dip

Slice and dice the tomato and the scallions and combine into a medium sized bowl.
Add in the lemon and lime juice as well as the garlic wine vinegar and toss to mix.
Combine the lemon pepper, red pepper and paprika and add to the tomato and
scallion mixture and toss to combine. Lastly add the Jalapeno Sour Cream Dip and
gently mixed until all the ingredients are combined thoroughly.

Serve along with bean and cheese dip and tortilla chips.

NEEDS TO COME BACK.

Lasagna.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9FRSghXhDM

I want to make that.

SAMMICHES AND SOUPS

MOTHERFUCKERS.

TOO PLAIN? ADD CHEESE.

SOUR CREAM?!!111??!!!1... HAVE FUN BEING FAT, YOU DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKERS.

NO SERIOUSLY.

...

*angrily eats every sour cream he comes across*

Birkin's Banana Pudding Pie

What You'll Need

Pie Crust
1 1/2 cup of Graham Cracker Crumbs (finely crushed)
6 Tbls of Butter, melted
1/4'th Cup of Sugar
1 tsp of both Cinnamon and Ground Nutmeg (Optional)

In a medium sized bowl, combine Graham Cracker, Sugar, Nutmeg and Cinnamon and
then combine thoroughly. Then, add in melted butter and thoroughly combine until the
butter has saturated the dry mix. Pour into a pie shell and inset another shell to give the
crust form. You may need a weight to ensure the second pie tin doesn't float, in that case
use raw beans. To pre-bake. preheat oven to 350 and bake for 8-10 minutes and then let
cool for 30 30 minutes to an hour.

Or you can just buy a premade graham cracker pie crust, whichever is easiest.

Filling
A bushel of ripe Bananas (6 at least, 12 optimal)
2 medium packages of French Vanilla or Banana Creme Pudding Mix
4 Cups of Milk
Vanilla Wafers
Whipped Cream
A package of Fresh, Ripened Strawberries (optional)

Peel all of the bananas and proceed to slice them into half inch slices. If you decided to
use strawberries as well, slice them too. Pour the pudding mix into a bowl, add the milk
and combine thoroughly. In the bottom of the pie shell, begin to layer the ingredients.

Layer 1: Banana slices
Layer 2: Pudding
Layer 3: Wafers
Layer 4: Strawberries

Repeat until all pie is full or the ingredients are used up. Top the pie with whipped cream
and the remaining bananas and or strawberries. Let chill in the fridge for at least an hour
then enjoy.