Deep Thought (being serious for a moment)

I know we see/hear things about like "stoping to take a look on your life" alot in society. But have any of your sat and thought about it.

Most people laugh at it like a bad joke, but have you REALLY taken a 3rd person view on your life.
- what do you picture yourself as
- what would others consider you
- how do you view your past
- what dreams do you have for the future
- what are you doing in the present
- why have you done what you have
- what do i rely on
- what shouldn't i rely on
- what is your passion in life

nine of the deepest questions in life... honestly i dont expect many of the younger members to understand this, trust me i thought i knew where i would be when i was 20 but i'm FAR from it.

Recently I decided i'd sit and reflect on these exact questions myself. I'm midway though my own own analysis. I just been laying back thinking... and when i look back, the slightest minor things have played the largest roles on my life.

Right now i consider myself a corpse. I live and breathe, but accomplish nothing. Not for myself or anyone.
People around me view me as Lazy and in all honesty i;d consider myself that too. The daily routines most people do without thinking i find boring and unimportant.
My past i was more active not because of youth but because of what i'd have believed in. I later learned the harsh truth of reality, of what i though once i understood.
As far as my future, if i continue on the pace i am now, i truely wont have a future for myself. I'm praying the military will give me the kick in the ass i need.
Other then casually working out. i'm not really doing much more then stealing simple pleasure from time such as this forum or dead frontier. Living off distractions, not nesessities.
I thought i was adapting to my perticular situations, but really i been avoiding it.


Theres alot more behind this. but i've come to the conclusion if i told this to a psychitrist i'd be considered clinically depressed. Im not gonna burdon other with my personal troubles so i wont go into complete detail. I've looked deeply in myself and i need to do ALOT of changes with my life that are 100% possible but i'm trapped in the past. I usually drown my self doubt in alcohol but that needs to definitly change as well.

Anyways i hope you enjoyed my rant and you think about your own lives as well.

I didn't read any of it


because of that

it's a rant

Congrats!

haha nice logic there

You could always go crazy and be spoon fed the rest of your life.

been there.

Dumbo EL Magnifico wrote:

been there.

You went crazy, got sent to a mental hospital, and had to be spoon fed?

- what do you picture yourself as
The last cowboy at the rodeo. Being the last living/potent Clardy male, it falls on me to continue my branch of the family line. Despite any number of things I could achieve with my life, it would all be for naught if my line ended with my death. Therefore, ensuring the continuation of my breed is the single most important thing I can do with my life.

- what would others consider you
Weird. Freakishly quiet. Likely intelligent. Possibly dangerous if provoked.

- how do you view your past
After the death of my grandfather in 1989, my own father lost his ability to truly connect with anyone or anything. This is unfortunate, since as far as I can remembered, I've always measured my own life compared to my Dad's. For the first 85% of my existence, he was always this supergenius figure, utterly lacking in compassion, always driving me to excel during the short periods he was actually home. In my immaturity and naivety, I misunderstood his lack of compassion and frequent absence as neglect. However, I eventually came to understand that this was not the case. His love was always there, but it was hidden behind the barrier formed within his own heart after several years of losing his loved ones, which eventually culminated in the death of his father. As smart as I always was, usually years beyond my classmates, I still considered myself a failure next to my Dad, who very rarely made under an A his entire scholastic experience. Furthermore, the man was the star member of his football, baseball, and chess teams. Meanwhile, I possessed no skill in football or baseball, and my own school had no chess team. Beyond developing a raging father-complex, my childhood was mostly happy, though not entirely without incident. We made a fair deal of money, and I was never lacking for much of anything. Toys were abundant, as were friends and fun. Unfortunately, in later years, friends became more scarce as I retreated into my mind, which I spend most of my time in. I'm a recluse in broad daylight, and I do little to change the fact.

- what dreams do you have for the future
First, I plan to go to college and become an Anesthesiologist. Then, I plan to marry a red-headed female chef with ample child-bearing hips. I will then have three sons and no daughters. They are to be named in order of their birth:

Eldest - Joseph Howard Clardy III (Joey) (He will look just like me)
Middle - James Duane Clardy (Jimmy) (He will have my eyes and his mother's hair)
Youngest - John Rambo Clardy (Jonny) (He will look like me, but with his mother's nose)

I plan to die between the ages of 40 and 50.

- what are you doing in the present
Preparing.

- why have you done what you have
To easier achieve the impending inevitability.

- what do i rely on
Logic and reasoning.

- what shouldn't i rely on
Wanton feelings.

- what is your passion in life
To feel as if I am gaining... Increasing... Working toward a clearly visible goal. This is why I find MMOs so thrilling.

yeah pretty much, although there were lions involved.