Finished Business
I believe the work I have set out to complete has thusly been completed. Opinionativly, I have reached some form or stage of what I believe to be self enlightenment; which I plan to elaborate on and hopefully one day distribute to the masses in some form of choosing. To achieve the change I, at the time, believed that I needed to destroy the things that made me happy and polluted my brain (distractions) in an attempt to achieve pure thoughts that were not underdeveloped like they would have been had I not done what I did. It did, in fact work, as my mind seems to go slightly insane when all distractions are cut out completely and all I have is the ability to ponder. My end goal was achieved in a matter of four days coming up with my own belief system/religion. The reason the above post seems so much that I was leaving forever in every state is because, at the time, I was. My attempts were to create a more pleasurable me and a more enjoyable mindset in the attempts of a longer and more productive life. During this time period I both destroyed my old aliases (Havoc, Morte, Soul) and created a new one (Saint Eternity) which in some degree both defines me and my belief system as a whole. Interesting right? Regardless as of today I felt stable enough in my new mindset to resurface myself upon this site as a new person. Why I say this is because I request to no longer be called or defined by my old names (If you can help it) as from here out I will ignore them as comments or direct statements to the "new" me. They only remind me of a not-too-enjoyable period of my life which I now believe to be almost over. In celebration of this destruction of mindset I celebrate with a new name and a new found joy for that which is life. With this new belief system I believe that the way I go about problems, view others, and act out as a whole will forever be changed. Which is why I regard myself as a new person instead of a revised person. In actuality the deletion of my first account was all together an attempt to take this site out of my life completely. Fairly painful as I regard it as a child (as there are lasting marks I have forever made upon it both good and bad. And in those marks have molded it into what it is today. Even if it still despises me for my actions.) Now as I was saying I was supposed to have a permanently ban to all together blot out my compulsive behavior towards this site. Two things however opened up to me during my alienation. 1. I discovered it was impossible to be permanently banned from this site as I had used a much more beloved member's computer meaning both of us would be permanently banned in the process. 2. The process was shorter than expected leaving me with days filled with boredom. 3. The fact said more beloved member still frequented the site during my alienation caused it to were the site ate at me and caused me to desire its presence once again even if I wasn't going to get on as much as I once did.
Thus I decided to create this new account. Though I wont frequent the site as much as I used to (or will I? *shrugs*) I will still have a way of coming here if the need ever arises. So for now I say "greetings" once again as for.. what is it.. the fourth time now? I've found myself unable to completely leave.
