Oh, so you do. Come here for a second and sit on my lap, I've got a story to tell you.
A number of years ago, there lived a boy named Travis Fuller. Now, this was during the pokemon card craze of the late 1990s, and Travis boasted of having exactly 666 holographic Charizard cards.
Needless to say, this made the other kids very jealous, so they all got together and raped Travis mercilessly in the bathroom. The next day he turned eighteen years old, but his buttocks hurt so much that he could not blow out the candles.
Now run off and enjoy your big day, you little scamp.