(I created this little story during a three-hour-long piece of fail that I was forced to attend.)


The Great Smoky Mountains, eh? Well it's a boring bunch of trees and hills if you ask me..." Jesse muttered as he and Kyle made their way through an unnamed trail. "At least it gets us away from home." Kyle replied, kicking an old coke bottle down the steep incline that laid parallel to the pathway. "Yes, I suppose bible camp's good for that much." Jesse agreed, though he wasn't about to spare it any additional compliments.

Silence ensued for several moments as the two boys reflected with disdain upon how much fun they weren't having, and how much booty they had yet to tap. "Yo, check it out." Jesse suddenly said with a cocky smirk, as he stepped over to the edge of the pathway. Walking with his feet in a line just mere centimeters from a ninety degree fall to the trees below, Jesse began to formulate an idea. "Dude, I'm not toting your dead ass to the hospital if you fall off." Kyle grumbled, pulling out his cellphone to answer the faint beeping in his pocket.

"Over there. Look at that." Jesse said, pointing to an oak tree below, the tip of which was around six feet down, and three feet from the edge of the path. "I bet you fifty bucks I can jump on that and climb to the bottom." He continued with a smug grin. "Dude," Kyle interupted without looking up from his phone, "Nicole just sent me a text message. She found an older guy that's willing to get us some booze." "Cool," said Jesse, "Text her back and tell her to get some of that Stolichnaya shit we had last time."

And then it happened. The rhythmic beeping of Kyle's phone was the only noise that filled the air as a chunk of ground under Jesse's feet gave way. As he toppled off the edge of the cliff backwards, he silently wondered what the hell had happened.

But that only lasted for a instant before Jesse let out a scream, which Kyle matched as he rushed to the edge in a futile attempt to help his friend.

With a sickening wet noise, the tree Jesse had pointed out earlier slammed through his lower back, emerging a few inches away from his belly button as a crimson spear. And thus, his fall ended as abruptly as it had begun, leaving Jesse thoroughly impaled, with four feet of oak tree protruding from his belly. If he hadn't been so busy screaming in pain, he might have been thankful for the thick branches that stopped his fall before the diameter of his wound could spread any more than that of a baseball.

"Are you alright?!" Kyle shouted dumbly, whilst on all fours with his head poking over the edge. He didn't like how the three dangerously swayed to and fro from the weight of it's victim. Also, Kyle didn't much like the fact that his friend had been impaled.

In answer, Jesse screamed even louder as a stream of blood found it's way out of his mouth. He couldn't tell how serious his wound was, but in the back of his mind he was thankful that it wasn't bad enough to kill him instantly. "I-I'll go get help!!" Kyle shouted before sprinting with all his might towards the nearest adult. If he wasn't in such painfully painful pain, Jesse might have yelled at him to at least call 911. But as things were, screaming and crying were the best courses of action that came to mind.

And there Jesse stayed as his wound oozed a veritable stream of red down the oak he was so ungainfully attached to. He had gone limp after ten minutes, and occasionally dropped in and out of a hazy consciousness.

After another half hour in which Kyle failed to return, the birds came to claim what was theirs. Hungry and impatient as ever a bird was, the vultures pecked and ripped mercilessly at the area surrounding Jesse's wounds while perching on his legs and sternum. Feebly, he cried out in pain and tried to swat the beasts away, but he only succeeded in both pissing them off and causing the tree to sway, ripping his gashes open even more.

Eventually, after fighting the birds for at least ten minutes, a torn and tired Jesse lost consciousness again, never to regain it.

It was another thirty minutes before Kyle returned with the ambulance. Unfortunately, the only nearby Baskin Robbins had possessed a line of customers that extended well past the door.

"The milkshake was good, though." Kyle would later reflect. And indeed it had been so.

lolololololololololllllllllllllllll

loll i am to lazy to read

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY JUST BEING A TROLL

Lol, I forgot I wrote this.

And indeed it had been so.