And so it begins...

John was away approaching the zoo as a lion burst from the gate, mauling a security guard. The creature had great chunks missing from her flesh, and she was much more savage than usual.

John ran out of the zoo as fast as he could, trying to ignore the screams of the guard.


What will you do...?
- Look for survivors.
- Go back there and kick that lion's ass!!
- Go back into the zoo.
- Keep running.
- Pry open a manhole and slip into the sewers.
- Run to your jeep.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Make sure I have my keys, and run to my jeep.

Common sense dictates that four wheels are better than none. Therefore, I wasted no time getting to my jeep and cranking it up.


What will you do...?
- Pull out of the parking lot and head left.
- Pull out of the parking lot and head forward.
- Pull out of the parking lot and head right.
- Drive into the zoo and run over that lion's ass!!
- Drive into the zoo.
- Close your eyes and floor it.
- Get out.
- Head to your house.
- Head to that place where your wife works.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Head to that place where wife works(Hospital)

Afraid for the condition of my primary female, I quickly pointed my jeep in the direction of the hospital (left) and hit the gas.

However, my path was suddenly blocked by a loud, grey object with massive legs.

"Bloody hell!" I shouted in annoyance as I recognized the living corpse of my least favorite elephant, Dub Jubby. Off towards the zoo, I noticed a large hole in the wall that I would undoubtedly be expected to patch up.

"Out of the way Dub Jubby, and your fat elephant tits!" I yelled in anger, leaning out of the window and shaking my fist at the beast. "Nay." Dub Jubby seemed to respond, with a defiant stomp of the ground.


What will you do...?
- Back up and drive in the opposite direction. Then turn right.
- Back up and drive in the opposite direction. Then head forward.
- Drive back to the zoo and run over that lion's ass!!
- Drive back to the zoo.
- Get out.
- Turn around, and head to your house.
- Try to drive around the elephant.
- Run that elephant over until it dies.
- Insult the elephant for its bad breath.
- Insult the elephant for its insufferior elephant-like intelligence.
- Continue to insult the elephant's fat tits.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Back up and drive in the opposite direction. Then head forward.

"Fuck you, Dub Jubby! You win this time!" I shouted before throwing the jeep into reverse.

However, I was unable to turn around in time.


With a horrible crunching noise, I discovered that I my jeep had become some sort of aerial vehicle. Either that, or I'd just been swatted like a bug by a huge freaking elephant.

With an equally horrible crunching noise, the jeep landed on it's side, and my world went dark. I'm not sure how long I was out, but it couldn't have been long. Awkwardly positioning myself upwards, I managed to crawl out of my ruined jeep and inspect myself for injuries. Somehow, I had none.

"Show yourself, damn elephant! Vengeance shall be mine!" I shouted into the night...

But Dub-Jubby was nowhere to be found.


What will you do...?
- Look for a vehicle.
- Continue heading forward, towards you wife's place of work.
- Head back in the direction of the zoo.
- Enter one of the nearby buildings.
- Look for Dub Jubby, so that you may exact your vengeance.
- Walk through the hole in the wall that Dub Jubby made.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Shed a tear for my jeep, and Search for a tier 4 weapon.

Seeking revenge, I hastily scanned my surroundings for something powerful. An elephant-gun, perhaps.

Unfortunately, all I found was nothing. And a particularly frightening pile of elephant feces.

And that's when I heard the voices.


What will you do...?
- Walk towards the voices.
- Look for a vehicle.
- Continue heading forward, towards you wife's place of work.
- Head back in the direction of the zoo.
- Enter one of the nearby buildings.
- Look for Dub Jubby, so that you may exact your vengeance.
- Walk through the hole in the wall that Dub Jubby made.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Walk towards the voices

Eager to share the pain of my loss with someone else, I began to trot towards the source of the noise. What I found was a rather tall, blond man wearing a labcoat with one of the sleeves rolled up. He seemed to be excitedly babbling to himself about one thing or another.

He looked rather eccentric. Like the kind of guy that would steal your socks if you pissed him off.


What will you do...?
- Go talk to the strange man.
- Kill the strange man! Attack!
- Walk towards the voices.
- Look for a vehicle.
- Head towards you wife's place of work.
- Head back in the direction of the zoo.
- Enter one of the nearby buildings.
- Look for Dub Jubby, so that you may exact your vengeance.
- Walk through the hole in the wall that Dub Jubby made.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Go talk to the strange man.

"Hey there!" I shouted in an attempt to hail the strange man. "I just had a blowout and flipped my jeep! Could you perhaps call a wrecker?" I asked, completely forgetting about the poor folks in the zoo that were in deperate need of an ambulance.

The man jerked around violently when he heard my voice. "Bah!!" he shouted, before taking off running.


What will you do...?
- Chase him!
- Pry open a manhole and slip into the sewers.
- Look for a vehicle.
- Head towards you wife's place of work.
- Head back in the direction of the zoo.
- Enter one of the nearby buildings.
- Look for Dub Jubby, so that you may exact your vengeance.
- Walk through the hole in the wall that Dub Jubby made.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Go back to the zoo.

Losing interest of the funny man, I went back to the zoo. Carefully peeking from around the corner through the main gate, I discovered the crazy lion to still be eating somebody. It did so in a rather loud and disgusting manner.

Otherwise, the place was eerily quiet. The zoo was normally abuzz with the sound of animals, and foliage rustling in the wind...

But now, there was nothing but silence.

And a man-eating lion.


What will you do...?
- Go kick that lion's ass!
- Enter the zoo from another way.
- Try to sneak around the lion.
- Go back and chase that man.
- Leave the zoo.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Search for a tier 3 weapon.

I fumbled around in the dirt nearby, but I found jack shit.

And antelope shit, as well.


What will you do...?
- Go kick that lion's ass!
- Enter the zoo from another way.
- Try to sneak around the lion.
- Go back and chase that man.
- Leave the zoo.
- Search for a tier 1 weapon.
- Search for a tier 2 weapon.
- Search for a tier 3 weapon.
- Search for a tier 4 weapon.
- Search for a tier 5 weapon.
- Search for anything that might be of use.

:Hp4:

Inventory...
- Machete (Tier 2 weapon)
-
-
-

Try to sneak around the lion.