I'm glad I'm a man

Inspired by Bunny's "I'm glad i'm a woman" poem


I can Live off budweiser, beer nuts, and spam.
I'm proud i can hold my privates in my hand.
I can go on endless drives and wander without thinking of my faults.
I can laugh everytime someone in the car lets out one of their farts.

I can get shitfaced and not recall last night.
Then joke about how i couldn't remember a fist-fight.
I'll holler at a waitress the one with the big breast, and slap her butt.
Get pinned by my buddies and wail as I get a pink belly on my beer gut.

When i get an itch i'll proudly scratch my crotch.
The shame will have no meaning if it feels top notch.
I can have a hairy bum and pay no mind.
Then moon you in public and point at my behind.

When i'm in the shower i love to sing.
So loud and poor i wouldn't hear the phone ring.
Without realizeing i missed my chance for a job.
Thats ok cause i'm in the middle of pulling my knob.

When i go out on a vacation i can't wait to go home.
But till then i'll do whatever, "when in Rome."
By the end of the trip i'm sitting in a foreign police station.
Talking with the murderer how much fun i had on this vacation.

When out in the forest and nature calls i'm glad i can pee.
Standing wherever i want even behind this rare species tree.
I live to play beer pong, fish, and hunt.
When a woman pisses me off i'll call her a c***.

When i have company over and my wife doesn't stick to the plan.
I'll smack her across the face with my mighty pimp hand.
When i have sex, it's so hard i make women weep.
Then i cop a feel on their best friend as she is asleep.
I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!

very nice one hahaha

lol thankyou for the bit i stole from yours

I really enjoy this one makes me laugh everytime i read it

I think this is my favorite part
When i go out on a vacation i can't wait to go home.
But till then i'll do whatever, "when in Rome."
By the end of the trip i'm sitting in a foreign police station.
Talking with the murderer how much fun i had on this vacation.

XD

I love it!

But no offense, you're basically bragging about guys being jerkwad, shitfaced, disgusting, unlikeable bastards. XD

Thats why were Awesome?

Demon Eyes Kyo wrote:

When i have company over and my wife doesn't stick to the plan.
I'll smack her across the face with my mighty pimp hand.

Bahaha~!

cut me in half at first youll cry

But then i'll be twice the fun cause i can be at two places at once.

>_>
<_<

What makes a man, is it the woman in his arms?
Just 'cause she has big titties?
Or is it the way,
He fights every Day?
...No it's probably the titties!!

NOW YOU'RE A MAN, A MANNY-MANNY-MANNA-MAN-MAN-MAN, YOU ARE NOW A MAN YOU'RE A MANNNNNNNN, NOW YOU'RE A MAN!

Song - Now you're a Man, Theme song to "Orgazmo" by DVDA.

Don't mean to offend anybody, but this song popped into my head when I read this.

Demon Eyes Kyo wrote:

cut me in half at first youll cry

But then i'll be twice the fun cause i can be at two places at once.

>_>
<_<

How sure are you that I am referring to you?

Omg what am I doing I need to be at the plane in 25 mins

Bye bye.

run bunny RUUNNNN

but it is my topic so who ese could it be

HAHAHA

Demon Eyes Kyo wrote:

cut me in half at first youll cry

But then i'll be twice the fun cause i can be at two places at once.

>_>
<_<

Your poem my words that you change and i stabbing you hard in yr heart