Osama Bin Laden is Dead

While attempting to rape a young American child in his mansion in Islamabad, Osama Bin Laden was surprised to find that the boy's bindings were loose. Subsequently, the young child fled from the older, slower Bin Laden, and managed to escape outside. Osama pursued the boy out onto the street, but was spotted by a satanist who mistook him for Jesus Christ, and shot him dead on sight. His body was discovered by Leon S. Kennedy three days later, who arrived in Islamabad, tracking the whereabouts of the boy Osama had kidnapped, who turned out to be the nephew of president Barrack Obama. Furthermore, Osama had been developing bio-organic weapons, which had turned much of the population of Islamabad into crazed zombie-esque parasite creatures. Luckily, most of them were killed by agent Kennedy, and many of Osama's facilities and data regarding his research were destroyed.

In a related report, it is said that previous president George W. Bush has been masturbating to Fox News for the past five hours.

If you guys don't approve of the USA killing the man who plotted 9/11, then don't post here.

PATRIOT MAN WEEK STARTS NOW.

ALL UNPATRIOTIC COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED.

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

Fuck Osama Bin Laden.

SO GUYS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEAR NOW? I'VE SPENT OVER HALF MY LIFE POURING ALL MY FEAR INTO THIS ONE INDIVIDUAL OF PURE HATE AND LOATHING.

THE CHINESE, MAYBE?

The rest of osama's soldiers and al quesadia. Korea. Possibly China. The national deficit.
Libiya. The rest of the world, given their general opinion of us isn't that high. Wiki leaks.
Global Warming. Just to name a few.

That doesn't even include supernatural and paranormal threats.

Congrats to DEVGRU. Mission accomplished

Sorry but just a question. Do you guys believe that just because he's gone your "War on terror" has been won and the terrorists will stop?

No

W.Birkin wrote:

That doesn't even include supernatural and paranormal threats.

The Bloop and Shadow People.

W.Birkin wrote:

The rest of osama's soldiers and al quesadia. Korea. Possibly China. The national deficit.
Libiya. The rest of the world, given their general opinion of us isn't that high. Wiki leaks.
Global Warming. Just to name a few.

That doesn't even include supernatural and paranormal threats.

US officals have now warned of a very high chance of terrorist retaliations for killing their leader.
Whoops, we done gone and made us a martyr.

And for those who won't shut up about it, I'm looking at one PM with a bunch of contradiction news reports PM from earlier in particular.

<-- I care about as much as he does.

YES, NOW THAT HE IS DEAD WE CAN RETURN TO A POLICY OF STOIC ISOLATIONISM, ECONOMIC SUPREMACY, WAVY HAIR, AND 90's MUSIC

I HEREBY DECLARE THE 2010s TO BE THE 1990s PART 2, BECAUSE ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS ARE OVER FOREVER, AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT NOTHING BAD HAPPENED IN THAT DECADE. IT'S WHY THE PRESIDENT HAD SO MUCH TIME TO FISTFUCK INTERNS.

YOU DIDNT SEE BUSH OR OBAMA FISTFUCKING INTERNS. THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY FIGHTING, OSAMA. BUT NOW THAT THE SOURCE OF THE WORLD'S EVIL HAS BEEN BLOWN INTO THE SAND, AND HIS BODYPARTS HAVE BEEN DUMPED INTO THE OCEAN, I VERY MUCH EXPECT WE'LL SEE OBAMA FISTFUCKING INTERNS BEFORE THE YEAR IS OVER.

LET DOWN YOUR HAIR GIRLS, BECAUSE AL QAEDA CANT POSSIBLY DRIVE AN AIRPLINE INTO IT EVER AGAIN. I AM 1337% CERTAIN THAT I WILL NOT COME TO EAT THESE WORDS.

AND NOW THAT THIS IS ALL OVER, WE CAN GO BACK TO WATCHING MARSUPILAMI, WHICH WE ALL IMMEDIATELY FORGOT ABOUT WHEN THE TOWERS FELL.

Flock Czar Triggitius wrote:

YOU DIDNT SEE BUSH OR OBAMA FISTFUCKING INTERNS. THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY FIGHTING, OSAMA. BUT NOW THAT THE SOURCE OF THE WORLD'S EVIL HAS BEEN BLOWN INTO THE SAND, AND HIS BODYPARTS HAVE BEEN DUMPED INTO THE OCEAN, I VERY MUCH EXPECT WE'LL SEE OBAMA FISTFUCKING INTERNS BEFORE THE YEAR IS OVER.

Am I the ONLY one here who thinks this is highly suspicious? We had video proof of Sadam's death, for fucks
sake, he was captured and put on trial, but with Osama all we got is some second or third hand information
and a promise that he's dead. Sorry, I don't buy it...

Does seem a bit convient that the soldier who blew his face off didn't even take pictures, and a burial at see from an undisclosed cruiser? Seems bit "Too" convenient don't it? Does Rena smell a conspiracy?

There are an infinite number of reasons as to -why- the soldier in question didn't take
pictures, during the operation. However, they claimed to have had the body in their
custody, why couldn't they have taken pictures then? If they -did- take pictures, then
why haven't they released them? I believe at least the survivors of 9/11 and their
loved ones are entitled to that much.

We know for a fact that the Military isn't afraid of lying to the public right to their
faces. Do you all remember that scandal a few months back? A list of soldiers that
were purportedly missing in action were actually in fact DEAD, the military officials
would sweep them under the rug and hide the truth.

If the Military is willing to lie, right to the faces of the families whom given their sons
and daughters to serve their country, then what reason do we have to believe they're
not lying to our faces about this?

Because everyone knows the government don't lie.

You know what? sonic boom!

Oh and I also find it kind of lucky on our part that we found Osama just as capitol hill faces
problems deciding on a budget this year. We've literally run out of the money needed to fund
the war just as we find the very person we've spent the last 10 years looking for. 100 miles in
the wrong direction, no less.

I randomly typed in "dead osama," and this was every other picture.

Spoiler:

Huh, they cut his eyes out lol.

I doubt bringing your iPhone to take pictures on a top secret mission was allowed.

I now doubt Trigger's judgment for not calling that an obvious fake.

I didn't look so hard.